I know they don't mean to be funny...

Maybe it is the SAG writers' strike and the absence of late-night hosts pointing out the absurdities of the day that has made me look for humor in unlikely places. And certainly the Town of Wappinger Board Meetings would be viewed as such a place, especially by those on the Town Board.... but wow... The August 21 Town Board Meeting was filled with absurdities, bumbling and unfortunately, pathos.

The long delayed Public Hearing for Local Law No. 3 of the year 2023 -- in which the Code of the Town of Wappinger to Update Fees and Fines. At each meeting, another anomaly, requirement for clarification emerges -- requiring more work and a delay -- and despite the work of the building department to research and explain -- this time the conversation devolved into an absurd discussion about garbage bag tickets and who should have read what, when and one of the ongoing reminders by the Town Attorney that the Town code is filled with inconsistencies (why this isn't among his responsibilities to understand and correct them is for another time).

With that rousing start, the public portion of the meeting was opened - where a gentleman who had received notice that he needed to correct some safety issues on his property rose to ask questions about a notice he had just received (more on this later).

The consultant that is purportedly leading the Town through the Climate Smart Communities Certification process then explained how to easily get certification, with the least amount of work, which would include naming the current lame-duck town supervisor as the town's coordinator, without explaining what the role would be responsible for -- or to actually implement meaningful changes and demonstrate leadership in this area.

Councilman Beale then treated us to a riff why Central Hudson's proposed Rate increases were absurd and joined other Hudson Valley Politicians in beating on Central Hudson (not that they don't deserve it), and proposing that the Town of Wappinger send a letter to the NY Public Service Commission stating that the Town Board is REALLY opposed to such increases in electric and gas rates. Councilwoman Bettina then chimed in that" billing problems are continuing and power outages, even on nice days, happen and that customers should be provided rebates" (ok.. I know that getting a rebate for a service that you didn't pay would be difficult) and that the Town Supervisor should request that Central Hudson executives be invited to the next Town Board Meeting to explain all of this -- apparently taking over a function of the Public Service Commission. Maybe the Town Board can visit Central Hudson and explain the tax levy increases of the past two years -- which are much above the state tax cap of 2% (5.8% in 2021 and 8.0% in 2022).

The 2023 First Responder Awards are scheduled for September 17th - which provided an opening to discuss the September 11 remembrances scheduled.

The probationary Human Resources person then discussed a revision to the Town's COVID policy because there have been instances of individuals with COVID working/meeting at Town Hall. Basically ... if you are sick or have been exposed -- please STAY HOME.

Then came the round of Condemnation of Four Properties in the Town. Please remember that the last meeting, a month ago, came the report, that a structural engineer had determined that the properties were unsafe and need to be demolished and that the structural engineer had visited the properties to make this determination. Apparently, what emerged from the discussion, is that the building department sent letters to the property owners requesting them to come to this town board meeting -- and publicly discuss how they are going to ensure safety on the properties. It became very clear -- that the owners had no idea that the engineer and/or the building department visited the properties, that the building department has recommendations for them -- and that their personal situations would be publicly discussed as they tried to make sense of the requested actions, timelines and requirements. The three property owners/representatives present at the meeting were accommodating, understanding and clearly working through family/personal difficulties. This is wildly inappropriate, insensitive and unnecessary to turn the Town Board Meetings into a semi-judicial body, allowing intrusive questions to be asked. The resolution is that they were all asked to return to the September 11 (now moved to September 14 Town Board Meeting) - to go through another round of examination. Of course unsafe properties should be addressed - but surely there is a better, more humane, neighborly approach.

The Town Attorney's work on the Payment In Lieu of Taxes with the Solar Farm needed to be tabled.

Councilman Casella then explained the work he and the Town Highway Department would be doing for the Martz Pickleball courts - providing additional recreational opportunities to the town.

Sludge Upgrade -- next on the agenda. We had to again listen to how unfair it is that the Town of Wappinger's share of the Tri-Municipal facility is 49% , and there are no town members on the Tri-Muni board (it emerged that this is because a previous town board with immense foresight, decided they didn't want to be part of Tri-Muni -- so withdrew -- only to be forced to go begging with hat in hand when a town sewer plant failed spectacularly, requiring immediate relief -- and the other two municipal partners extracted more than a pound of flesh by getting the town to foot 49% of the costs, with no voting power.... leading to years and years of "it isn't fair" speeches - including at this meeting). The Village of Wappinger and the Town of Poughkeepsie have secured the required funds, so the town board grudgingly approved a resolution to pay for the upgrade "$824,016 (49%) -- and to issue a bond to pay for it. There is a grant of $105K from the county being processed, of which 49% will be paid to the town when the funds are dispersed.

The Board pulled itself together to approve the adoption of Local Law Number 3 -on fees and fines- agreeing to modify whatever will he required when they read another section of the code that doesn't make sense (ok I added that part).

They also agreed to a Building Permit Amnesty Program -- there are over 2000 open building permits -- where they don't know the status. Did the work happen? Did the project not get done? Do inspections need to be scheduled? Is the work safe? So residents -- please get those unfinished projects wrapped up by year end -- otherwise you will need to extend your building permit (with a fee). How this backlog happened, without appropriate follow-up as part of a regular process is a bit puzzling - but hey, more opportunity for town officials to ask more questions about your home.

SAS Electrical Inspection was approved as an electrical inspector for the town -- requiring an explanation of how electrical inspections are done - and Councilmen Beale relating once again about his experience in remodeling his basement.

Then the building department requested approval for a petty cash fund to enable the department to provide change to residents who pay for their fees and fines with cash. Councilmen Beale wondered why the town needed to deal with cash -- despite the "legal tender for all debts, public and private" printed on cash ... and wondering why people still pay with cash... demonstrating an in-depth understanding of the preferences/realities of his constituents (not).

The board tabled the resolution to the Myers Corner Pilot program, the naming of the Climate Smart Communities Coordinator and resolutions involving appointing clerks/laborers -- apparently needing to thoroughly discuss such matters in an executive session - which they then repaired to.

At 10:45 the board emerged from their session - (lasting longer than the board meeting open to the public) -- to have the Town Attorney declare that "no decisions were made in the executive session" (I admit it, I laughed out loud, because that is absurd, earning glares from the supervisor).... and then the board went on to vote on the resolutions that they "didn't decide on" for senior account clerk, account clerk retroactive pay for deputy court clerk.

Discovering that the next Town Board Meeting is scheduled for September 11 the town board agreed to meet on September 14.

And then it was over. Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert -- you are missed.